Loneliness and How to Combat It

During February, it is easy to feel lonely, especially on Valentine’s Day. Teens can feel left out and alone, especially when their caregivers or parents are celebrating together. Feelings of loneliness can also arise when classmates exchange Valentine’s Day cards. There are options available, such as self-care, reshaping your emotions, and reaching out to others who can help balance those feelings of loneliness.

Teens need to feel included and loved, so it is valuable to show them ways that they can create their own sense of inclusion. Some self-care options teens can try are:

• Writing a note to yourself about what you’re proud of.
• Treating yourself to something like a really good snack or an activity you enjoy.
• Creating a playlist that makes you feel confident.
• Starting a list of things you like about yourself and adding one thing every day until Valentine’s Day.
• Make a positive list to reinforce what you have instead of what is missing.

It will also help to reshape your view of the day. Shift your focus to Valentine’s Day being about connection, versus a day to celebrate romance and dating. That should help forget the idea of missing out on something. It is just one day of the year, and remember that relationships can change, and loneliness isn’t a lasting feeling. This is just one day in your life and does not define your worth. Owning this knowledge can help relieve some of the hurtful emotions.

At the same time, reaching out to others can offer a sense of community and help fill the void of loneliness. Make it your connection day with classmates, teachers, friends, family, and pets. Taking the initiative can feel empowering and can result in exchanging that lonely feeling for one of sharing with others. It may take a little courage, but remember, “you can do it”. Here are some ideas for sharing Valentine’s Day with others:

• Text important people in your life and let them know you appreciate them.
• If you’re up for it, make DIY friendship valentines to give to classmates who might feel left out.
• Gather some friends or classmates to hang out with, to make a connection.
• Create a poster at school to create a space where everyone can add kind notes.
• Offer a small act of kindness, like holding a door or helping a classmate with homework.
• Create a volunteer group to make valentines for people in hospitals, shelters, or nursing homes.

Creating a self-love day for yourself and connecting with others are ways to get past the feelings associated with Valentine’s Day. Talking out the feelings with a trusted adult is also very important. Expressing your thoughts in a meaningful and positive way will definitely help.